May 1, 2025
Well, tomorrow is my c5 c6 decompression and fusion. To say I’m scared would be an understatement. Please God, help me just one more day…..
Waking up each day in high school had been more and more of a challenge. The snooze button was becoming my awful friend. the stiff coldness of how the button felt was becoming too familiar, almost automatic. I couldn’t set my alarm for 2am, get up, and pretend I was ill. My parents were on to that, and it was too late. The walls in my room were closing in on me. Not only did I have to wear this barbaric metal contraption to school, but I was feeling this pain. Not physical pain that I was feeling, but this emotional dark hole, this void in my heart called Depression. Excruciating it had become. Who could I run to? I wanted to cry out, but it would only fall on deaf ears. Where could I run from? I could always take a couple shots of vodka to make the darkness lift briefly. I got used to the burning sensation as it poured down my throat. But that was only temporary. God, please make it stop! Get me through…….one more day……..
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