loss

How do you go on without your best friend, your mom?

My heart is composed of many intricate layers. It is infinite for me, only the Higher Power has access to my soul.

Sometimes I feel when I wake up, my heart has been pummeled by a train, Disposed of in garbage.

Your Higher Power is the only one who has access to your soul. So He meticulously collects the fragile layers, memories, and love of your soul and ever so gently sweeps it off. He breathes life back into it.

So I ask myself what would my mother want me to do? She woudn’t have wanted my heart to stay desecrated in that detritus and waste.. He miraculously, delicately plants it.

My mom is there. She is watering it every day You see it in her signs she gives me —– a vivid rainbow, a memorable song, a giant eagle floating over head with a wing span of over 5 feet, a 6 point buck staring you in the face for at least 2 minutes , and more. We have to gaze and pray. My heart has to start blooming into that exquisite woman she would have wanted me to become. My work here is incomplete. Right now I believe my wants are not conducive with His will. Only He can make that happen. He has a master plan. To deny this not only to my best friend, but to Him would be painful for everyone involved. No one said this was going to be effortless, but through that pain along with His grace, and mercy. ……… We grow. We acquire love.