April 28, 2025
I’m beginning to understand why I’ve felt so invisible. Shall we say it goes way back to age 12 at that moment…..
I was half naked. All I was wearing were my bra and underwear. Miscellaneous, nonchalant, and frivolous chatter filled the room. What was I a statue? The slaps of thick paste- wet paper mache molded around my body. Couldn’t they hear me? I was screaming inside. I was trying to get out but no one was hearing me. Tears streamed down my face with low silent sobs. They were trying to make light of it. This process-this process of making my Milwaukee brace for the future. It was cold and messy.
“It will take about 4-5 weeks to make the brace”. ….the technician blurted out. Oh My God. 4-5 weeks of my last freedom. But what about what “I” was feeling? Did it matter? No one was really listening or hearing my tears.
It took a while to transcend into the darkness of my eating disorder, but all I could think about at that moment was the Jelly Belly store right next to the Center. My dad had promised we could stop there on our way home.
Today I choose to be heard.
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